Junior Barnes, you gunky!

“Whatchu wanna hit me in the side of the face with a slush ball for, man?”
-Bill Cosby to Junior Barnes, Revenge

So, Mother Nature… is your name Junior Barnes? Because I cannot fathom what kind of rules you’re playing with. Didn’t anyone ever tell you how to play nice with the other children? Is there a Grandma Nature I should be blaming for raising you to be so reckless?

You’ve got some nerve dumping 13 inches of snow on us in three days and then immediately raising the temperature just enough so it rains the next day. Sure, rain can be nice; but this is like a practical joke. Not only are the streets flooded with nature’s saliva, but this rainfall also washes away inches of snow, making all of Chicagoland into an overflowing, salty, mud slushie. Thanks. Do they serve that flavor at 7-Eleven?

You gunky.

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