When was the last time

When was the last time I really cried? 7:25 pm on this tuesday december 5 2000…
I think I’ll burn my watch. I’ll just burn time.
Waking up to being unforgivably late for the only true rehersal for my winter concert was only the last possible thing i needed. I had even called in and convinced a manager at Sears that I had a “crisis” so I couldn’t come into work. I lied. I’m a sinner. Drat, foiled again. I was at home after turning in my application for a three week mission trip to Siberia which was actually two days late. My own pastor told me he might not be able to accept it and… in the long run… it’s all my fault. If I don’t go, I don’t go. Oh but the agony of being so far from Siberia for those three weeks…What would I do with myself? I can’t picture it. Being home was murder. I was worrying about my application, calling into work and lying, watching bad tv because you know that all the bad tv in on when i’m home from school, and then feeling rather tired. I moved upstairs to read my new book, and wow. I passed out sleeping until 7:24 pm. I don’t cry, really. I try to keep some semblance of order for myself in this crazy world. But right now I can’t stop the tears…
Jasper, I’m sorry I wasn’t there…

Enough about me, what about you?

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