That was so wrong. I should stop letting myself go off at the mouth so often to people that really shouldn’t hear that kind of *curses* crap. Why is the phone the reason I almost cried myself to sleep tonight? I have self control. I constructed control of the soaring wails after must have been a good 3 minute cry. I think my quota has been reached for this month. I think I’ll never use the phone again. Nobody will miss my voice. Of course now I’m wallowing in my tactlessness and unwise emotional decision making and feeling guilty because i secretly know exactly what’s going on with myself and that I can’t keep up this frustrated, guilt blaming facade up for long. Eventually, as always, I will come to my senses, acknowledge the constant fact that none of this will matter in the long run because perhaps I will move far away and lose my trivial past in some dark shoebox somewhere while life carries on in a different direction without these people, these friends, these past characters that affected my person so strongly…and I will act completely normal from now on. Life is what happens when you’re making other plans. It goes on. I sure hope everyone around me acts normally. I’d hate to have to remember how stupid I’ve been.
Mir: i’m sorry. but still
Mir: you’ll get one eventually
Me: forget it…
My arms are too short to box with God.