Something about turning 18 in

Something about turning 18 in one hour makes me feel….

nothing.

Somehow it hasn’t affected me and I don’t know if it will. What do most people do for their 18th birthdays? They certainly don’t just sit at home doing the normal gig. Am I missing the big party? Is there something I should really celebrate? I’m a whole day older and it’s marked by an 8 and not a 7. Apparently I’m higher on the ten point scale, no doubt. I wonder what it’s based upon. I am 18 regardless of my opinion of myself, my view on life, my actions towards life or death or anything else. I am 18 no matter what I do unless I die in the next 48 minutes. I’m counting down. Further…Down….

I have the scars of names gone by etched upon my thighs
Inside the tightening belt
Moist memories pool in the small of my back
As I scrub the names with brillo
Undone they crack in shallow pieces
Truly all but my emotions falling away

-random thought # X and some

But I’m alive. I’m breathing…and oh! my mommy loves me. She bought me Lucky Charms for my birthday cereal, blueberry yogurt (fruit on the bottom), and my favorite: cherry tomatoes. Oh I am in tastebud bliss.

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