or the first time in a long time (perhaps…ever?) I gave 110% at that job interview, never exaggerated, never lied, never even got tempted to be anything but my true self.I am proud of me. And that is what is most important, right? I know I did my very best and if I am not hired, I will not regret it because I am trusting G-d with my future. If He does not lead them to feel that I am the perfect match for this job, then I’m not. At least I won’t be looking back thinking, “What if I did it differently?” or “What’s wrong with me?” Because it’s not about what’s wrong with me; it’s about what’s right for me and for the company.
But G-d knows I want the job. G-d also knows how I am nervous about getting it. For the first time I can understand the idea of being afraid of my own success… afraid of my own power. Why? Because this success for me means a huge, monstrous change in my lifestyle, my spiritual surroundings, my friendships… and every facet I can think of.
But if G-d wants me there, I trust him 110%. I’m done thinking I have control over someone else’s decisions– especially His.
Oh, and my sista and I went to the Detroit Kennel Club dog show at Cobo Hall today! What fun! Exhausting, that’s for certain… but I am now even closer to finding my favourite breeds for a dog that I will own in my dreams.
To Law: good news. I did not sneeze even once at the dog show… after hours and hours of petting dogs and being around dogs I am still allergy free! So hopefully this will last, unlike that freaking cat allergy that grew and grew until it blew up in my face some years ago. Maybe I’ll be lucky and we can have a dog someday! Ooooh….