avoiding

I’m honestly avoiding certain emotions right now. i have been a girl who tries not to confront uncomfortable situations that cause uncomfortable emotions.

examples:
I don’t like dwelling on depressing things.
I don’t like arguments.
I don’t enjoy things that make me feel envious.
I don’t like to cry.
I don’t like melodramatic movies or tear-jerkers
I avoid grief.
I avoid loneliness.
I avoid rejection.
I avoid embarassment.

So who am I, Bubble Girl? What am I thinking? I’ve gotten so much better at being straightforward and honest that it shocks me. So why can’t I allow myself to feel big emotions like sadness? Hmm…
I wonder if all my avoiding only creates a hole for me to hide in. But is it all bad? Who wants to be embarassed or be lonely or hear about someone else’s relationship to the point where it makes them feel icky inside? WHO?!

Not I.

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