Q. What is desperation?

A. When you name a TV special “Very Funny Stand-Up” and it involves stand-up comedians you’ve never heard of.

Can we say, “Please, please watch my special? I promise I’ll be good!”

OK fine, so I’m still a sucker for comedy and I’m trying to laugh. But the charity chuckles aren’t getting far. Maybe they should mic the audience to make it seem something closer to funny.