If Jesus were a Pirate…

Avast, ye! It be Talk Like a Pirate Day! So don’t ye be a mutinous dog! Blow yer man down!

Now t’ secure me walk on th’ plank… a wee bit o’ PirateJesus for ye:

“Nay sea dogs an’ land lubbers who says t’ me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter th’ kingdom o’ heaven, but only he who does th’ will o’ me Father who be in heaven. Many will say t’ me on that tide, ‘Lord, Lord, did we nay prophesy in yer name, an’ in yer name drive ou’ demons an’ perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I nereknew ye. Away from me, ye scallywags!'”

Sell yer treasure an’ give t’ th’ poor. Provide purses fer yourselves that will nay wear ou’, a booty in hea’en that will nay be exhausted, ‘ere nay thief comes near an’ nay moth destroys. Fer ‘ere yer booty be, thar yer heart be also.

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