13 Things You Will Never Hear Me Say
- A boycot, eh? I’ll organize!
- I would rather be all by myself for the rest of my life.
- I can’t gain any weight!
- My dream job is to scrape barnacles off the hulls of gigantic ships.
- I have no hope left.
- Just call me Julie.
- I’m beta testing a new kind of bungee cord.
- I hold the world record for “Most Civil War Reenactments Done In the Nude.”
- Your name is tattooed on my neck.
- I’m addicted to coffee and euchre.
- I’ve been abducted by aliens.
- I can’t remember the last time I laughed.
- Mmm … diapers.
What would you never say?
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