Thursday 13: episode 10

13 Things You Will Never Hear Me Say

  1. A boycot, eh? I’ll organize!
  2. I would rather be all by myself for the rest of my life.
  3. I can’t gain any weight!
  4. My dream job is to scrape barnacles off the hulls of gigantic ships.
  5. I have no hope left.
  6. Just call me Julie.
  7. I’m beta testing a new kind of bungee cord.
  8. I hold the world record for “Most Civil War Reenactments Done In the Nude.”
  9. Your name is tattooed on my neck.
  10. I’m addicted to coffee and euchre.
  11. I’ve been abducted by aliens.
  12. I can’t remember the last time I laughed.
  13. Mmm … diapers.

What would you never say?

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11 thoughts on “Thursday 13: episode 10

  1. #8 cracked me up.

    I don’t think I could make up a list like this because I say ridiculous stuff all the time. Just yesterday I was making fun of my dog, telling my co-worker how he totally dissed me when I dropped him off at daycare, “I don’t have time to kiss you now, I have dogs to play with and butts to sniff.”

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