Last night feels miles away from where I’m sitting today. I feel I lack the eloquence needed for this type of post.
When my cell phone woke me this morning I was shocked to see the number on the caller ID. It was Law, my ex, calling to tell me his father had passed away last night. Part of me expected news like this, because the only times we’ve talked since last year have been during concerning periods of family health. But I am glad he made a point to get in touch with me today. I don’t know how to feel besides accepting. I feel compassion and empathy, having also watched my father die in front of me four years ago. But my experience is so unlike Law’s experience as a whole. So how I feel is like… a curious desire for understanding. I suppose it’s not shocking that his dear father is gone, but that doesn’t change the fact that hard grieving occurs, and life as they know it changes. My prayers go out to them.
I tried phoning my mother to tell her the news, but was informed by my stepdad she is currently at the vet, perhaps taking our family cat Paws to be put down (or, quite literally, “put out of her misery”). I’m sad I haven’t heard from her yet with any news about this. Having found out by chance, I’m trusting that when something solid happens, she’ll let her children know.
So, that’s my day so far. And this concludes my second personal post in a row. I don’t like using my blog as a diary anymore… but so be it. I suppose I can’t pretend for too long that nothing goes on in my life. Even though it may seem so to me most of the time.