You’re not allowed

There are certain individuals in our society who, because of the nature of their work, should not have “bad days”. Here are some that come to mind:

  • Astronauts: When everything you do goes wrong, the last place you want to be is stuck in space.
  • Judges: What you say goes. So please don’t say “I could just kill someone today! Ugh!”
  • Secret Service Agents: On your bad days men get three names* and live in infamy.
  • Kim Jong-Il: If he tortures, starves, and kills his own people on his good days, I don’t want to see him on a bad one.
  • Oprah Winfrey: who knows what would happen. She might be seen as human, get married, or maybe even recommend a book I actually want to read.
  • The President of the United States: The way things are today, it would seem there have been plenty of bad days already.
  • The Pope: You never know what dogma he’ll roll out with next.
  • Surgeons: “Scalpel… Clamp… Anesthesia—Oops.”


* Inspired by this exchange in Conspiracy Theory
Jerry: David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, Richard Speck…
Alice: What about them?
Jerry: Serial killers. Serial killers only have two names. You ever notice that? But lone gunmen assassins, they always have three names. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman…
Alice: John Hinckley. He shot Reagan. He only has two names.
Jerry: Yeah, but he only just shot Reagan. Reagan didn’t die. If Reagan had died, I’m pretty sure we probably would all know what John Hinckley’s middle name was.

Advertisements