White Whine makes me whiny

White Whine is the same thing over and over again. I’m not talking about content; I’m talking about format and tone. Apparently either one person is making all of these up and has no creativity, or the publisher only likes one type of whine. Meh.

“Thanks, Wall Street.  You killed my mutual funds and now I have to take the kids to the Bahamas instead of Aruba.  We’re not even staying at Paradise Island!”
-Whine by Mel

“God, McSweeney’s, I miss David Foster Wallace too. Now get back to the funny-making.”
-Whine by Nick Douglas

“Come on Bittorrent, how do you not have this band? They’re all over the new Apple ad!”
-Whine by Nick Douglas

“Really New York Magazine, you can put together a Fall Preivew Double issue but can’t manage to include an approval matrix?”
-Whine by Peter

“Ugh, no “Mad Men” On Demand?  Seriously Time Warner, is this what you call offering me ‘all the best?’”
-Whine by Mike Leahy

“Come on, Pennsylvania. Three toll booths open and not a single one is EZPass Only?”
-Whine by Jim Hutchings

“Do you really need to send me an email every week, New Balanace?  How often do you think I buy shoes online?”
-Whine by Mike Rhulin

“When are you going to announce all the stores you are closing, Starbucks? The suspense is killing me.”
– Whine by Matt Enstrom

“Hey Glaceau, could you make your Vitamin Water caps just a little bit easier to open?  I don’t think I should have to enter a strongman competition every time I want to enjoy a little Formula 50.”
-Whine by Liana

“Ugh, Album Only, iTunes Music Store? I want neither the entire ‘Wall-E’ soundtrack nor the entire ‘Hello Dolly’ soundtrack!”
-Whine by Whitney

“Ugh, thanks Gmail, another misspelled email auto saved to my contacts list.”
– Whine by Mike Tucci

“Finish this list for me, Dan Brown: Angels and Demons, The DaVinci Code, and _______.  Don’t think your fans have forgotten that you owe us a third book.  We’re waiting.”
-Whine by Toby Glenn

“Jesus Garmin, I’ve been driving for 10 minutes and you still haven’t acquired a signal?  Good thing I checked Google Maps before I left otherwise I’d be completely lost.”
-Whine by Eric Farrell

“Hey R.E.M., you wanna at least tell us when tickets go on sale?”
-Whine by Brad Beasley

“Ethos Water?!  Nice ‘Bait and Switch,’ Starbucks.  I had gotten accustomed to buying Fiji water here and, YES I CAN taste the difference!”
-Whine by Black Crusader